The TV Pick of the Week – 14/12/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week. 

Hot Tub Time Machine

Friday 14th December

Film4: 9.00pm – 10.55pm

Congratulations, we’ve reached the middle of December and – for those reading this – we’ve at least made it in one piece. Christmas is fast approaching, and the number of steaming piles of turd that pass themselves off as films inches ever closer towards breaking point.

This week’s Christmas-themed pick of the week (note to editor, this is getting difficult), is Hot Tub Time Machine. “But that’s not a Christmas film”, you might say, to which I would retort “there’s snow in it, and it was between this and ET”. You might also complain about the breezy misogyny in this gross-out guy comedy, but heck, I like it, and this is my pick of the week, so I’m going to impose my will on it like George Osborne on the economy. Albeit to a less catastrophic ending.

John Cusack takes centre stage as three old friends go back to relive their youth, ending up – via a quirk of energy-drink induced magic – in 1986. There are a solid nine laughs at least in this film (I counted them) and really, what more can you ask for in a comedy film these days?

My alternative pick for the week is the seminal, Ice Cold in Alex, on Film4 (Monday 17^th, 3.55pm – 6.35pm). Unfortunately this is not a pornographic film featuring the One Show’s Alex Jones doing lascivious things with a range of ice lollies (one can dream). No, this is the rather brilliant war-time action drama starring John Mills. You can boil the story down to one man’s epic journey for a pint, (if any ad people from Strongbow see this, throw some money my way before running with it) and given the weather, the epic recession, and the fact that we’ll have to endure another month or two of Gangnam Style – replete with every tosser on the planet dancing like a priapic cowboy – then that simple desire for alcohol is something I have only the highest measure of sympathy for.

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human.

The TV Pick of the Week – 07/12/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week. 

Scrooged

Friday 7th December

E4: 8.00pm – 10pm

As we lurch and sway ever closer to Christmas, the schedules are starting to get packed with the kind of films that don’t just encourage booze, they necessitate it. For the entirety of this month, I’ll be bringing you the best Christmas pick, and the best alternative, alongside my random (and increasingly long-winded) extra thoughts on the scheduling.

I should mention right here, that I both love and loathe Christmas. Every December I read A Christmas Carol religiously, and every year, without fail, I bemoan that Scrooge becomes a dancing, prancing, singing convert to the season. Alas, Scrooged, being an updated version of Dickens’ work, falls into the same trap of mawkish sentimentality. Before that point though, there are some brilliant quips, and quite frankly, it’s hard not to have sympathy for a man trapped amongst a sea of idiots.

If you want an alternative pick for the week (and this was very nearly the Christmas choice), Die Hard is showing on Film4 on Monday 10^th (9.00pm – 11.40pm). You all know the drill, Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and a whole lot of killing. Still, it’s the very finest action thriller of all time. Plus, it (like nearly every blockbuster hit of the 80s) is set at Christmas, so you can force your girlfriend to watch it in the name of the festive season (bear in mind, she may later reciprocate the gesture with Marley and Me – so beware).

Last week I mentioned Channel 5’s horrific spattering of films, and I must admit, I had a case of déjà vu when I was looking through the schedules. Superman 2 (the one that’s achieved cult status purely because most people – quite rightly – hate it) is having a repeat showing on Saturday 8^th December (1.10pm – 3.40pm – although in truth, if you follow this column then you probably don’t need to know what time that’s on, as you’ll just avoid it like the clap). I take back what I said about the executives at Channel 5 playing blind man’s bluff, evidently they just have some films pinned to a dart board and take pot shots to decide the day’s offering.

Winner of the inaugural ‘most disgustingly saccharine titled Christmas movie’ is, (drum roll please) Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus (Saturday 8^th December, 5.25pm – 7.10pm on Channel 5). As a general rule of thumb, if it’s a movie starring Steve Guttenberg and it’s not Short Circuit or the first Police Academy, then it’s going to be about as interesting as Noel Edmunds’ floral-patterned shirts.

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human. 

The TV Pick of the Week – 01/12/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week. 

The Keep

Saturday 1st December

Film4: 12.15am – 2.10am

If you see someone giving this film any less than five stars, give them a kick in the teeth (I’m looking at you, Radio Times).

The perfect antidote to all that Christmas tripe that’s being pumped through the schedules like chicken brains through a meat grinder in the back of every McDonalds (although at least with McNuggets you don’t feel like you’re getting eye cancer just by looking at them).

You know the drill for this kind of fare by now – someone releases a demonic force and all hell breaks loose in the most literal manner possible. In this case however, it involves Nazis. And Ian McKellan. And quite frankly, I could watch two hours of Ian McKellan talking to a bowl of oxtail soup and still be entranced. Add in some Nazis dying horrific deaths and I’m sold.

Effectively destroying Mann’s directing career for a period of three years (he returned to the screen with Manhunter in 1986), the film’s had an odd history, even as cult films go. In fact, it’s still not been released on DVD or Blu-ray, so this is indeed a rare treat.

I was going to write up my ‘worst movie of the week’ but Channel 5 scuppered that plan by running the gamut of absolute toss on Sunday (Road to Christmas, followed by Jack Frost, Rush Hour 2 and then Superman 2). The only saving grace to all that bilge is Magnum Force that inexplicably rounds off the day at 9pm. You honestly have to wonder if the executives at 5 are playing a game of blind man’s bluff against a board full of deliberately terrible films, and whatever they tag gets played that day in a random order.

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human. 

The TV Pick of the Week – 25/11/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week. 

Dawn of the Dead

Sunday 25th November

BBC2: 12.30am – 2.50am

Quite frankly, the only serious take on the zombie oeuvre you ever need to watch. Indeed, it seems that with decreasing amounts of tinkering, Romero’s second film in his canon of Dead movies (and most fully-formed in both execution and social commentary) has been copied, rejigged, and flat-out ripped off since its creation to the point of ubiquity and increasing over-saturation. The satire on American consumerism and rampant materialism really (if you excuse the trite pun I felt obliged to work in) gives the film some bite.

If you need a summary of this film then you might need to ask someone to help remove the rock you’ve been living under since the late 70s (although with the successive governments since then you’d be forgiven if you did want to live under a rock both literally and figuratively).

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human. 

The TV Pick of the Week – 16/11/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week.  

The Time Machine

Friday 16^th November

More 4: 10.55am – 1.00pm

If this recession has made you unemployed, then one of the few benefits besides the walk to the local Jobcentre and marathons of Come Dine With Me, are the classic films that are liberally spread around the daytime TV schedule. If you’re one of the fortunate few in gainful employment, then you might want to set your Sky+ for this. The classic science fiction story of a Victorian scientist who builds a time machine and ends up in a dystopian future where the cannibalistic Morlocks feed on the childlike Eloi, is one of those ingrained pieces of culture that is shamefully absent in most ‘top’ lists. The time-lapse progression through the years holds up well (and even won an Oscar for Special Effects) and it really does beg the question as to why they bothered to make that insipid remake in 2002.

If that’s the best film of the week, then ‘what’s the worst?’ you may well be asking. Well, if you’re feeling particularly masochistic to the point rubbing sandpaper on your member is like a soak in the tub, then you can always check out Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian on Film 4 on Wednesday 14^th (6.55pm – 9.00pm). Ben Stiller doesn’t so much phone in his performance, but sends it via post. In fact, there are whole scenes where I’m not sure if he’s even lucid, but ultimately, to beat on this film is like kicking road-kill; most people may hate it, but you know for a fact some weirdo will go home and enjoy consuming it with his family.

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human. 

The TV Pick of the Week – 08/11/12

Going to the cinema is expensive, buying DVDs is expensive, renting movies is expensive and torrenting is illegal (and, more importantly, doesn’t guarantee good quality sound and image). Luckily, films sometimes appear on TV. Here’s the best one this week. 

The Inbetweeners

Thursday 8^th November

Channel 4: 9pm – 11.05pm

If you missed the enormously successful feature film debut of the The Inbetweeners last year,then fear not, the film premieres on Channel 4 this week. Unless you’ve been living under a rock the size of Gibraltar then you’ll know the premise of the TV show: four awkward teens navigate through life trying to get the attention of girls and failing comprehensively at every step. Employing the tactic borrowed from nearly every sitcom of the 60s and 70s (when you run out of ideas, take your characters on a trip abroad) the film finds Will, Jay, Simon and Neil travelling to Crete and causing their own-brand of awkward mayhem. A lot of the jokes are either riffed off, or completely ripped from classic Carry On and On the Buses story lines, but that’s somewhat by-the-by when the target demographic wasn’t even the twinkle in their father’s eye when the jokes were first made.

This was written by Robert James Taylor. He is, for all intents and purposes, a human. 

ISSUE 4 Pre-orders Are Now Available!

Issue 4 is now available for pre-order on the Gorilla Film Magazine Website. All pre-orders come with Free UK Delivery, because we’re nice like that, letting you enjoy the ripe fruits of the latest issue (commonly known in our circles as ‘the best one yet’) without even leaving your home. We are also offering some exclusive deals, on our T-shirts and back issues.

Price: £3
Release date: May 15th 2012
Description: Jam packed with all the usual reviews of great short films, filmmaking tips like how to fund your movie or get the most out of that old tripod. Plus interviews with some very down to earth (if a little tired) filmmakers, a top five list of the sexiest movie monsters and various other exciting bits and bobs. Easily our best issue yet.

UK Delivery: Free UK delivery on all pre-orders!
Europe Delivery: £2.93
Worldwide Delivery: £3.86

Visit our website now to pre-order your copy of Gorilla Film Magazine Issue 4, before they’re all gone! 

Sci-Fi-London: The 11th Annual Festival of Science Fiction and Fantastic Film

OK, so here’s the blurb: SCI-FI-LONDON is the UK’s leading genre event and an internationally recognised launch pad for genre movies. At each festival they have at least a dozen UK premieres and in the last few years they had the first public screening (ahead of the USA!) of films like 28 Weeks Later and Bruce (Iron Maiden) Dickinson’s Chemical Wedding. 

Their next event is the 11th Annual Festival of Science Fiction and Fantastic Film, and it takes place next week, from the 1st to the 7th of May. 

Gorilla Film Magazine likes these guys, and we think you will too, so check out their website and if you’re available you’d be foolish to miss them next week.

Not only does the place have a great vibe, with screenings of a bunch of cool new films and huge costume parades (with prizes for the best) but they’re also responsible for an epic 48 Film Challenge, with many of the films going on to feature in other film festivals and even broadcast on Television. Hell, when Gareth Edwards won the competition in 2008, Vertigo Films were so impressed with his work they decided to develop a feature film with him. Something called Monsters, maybe you’ve heard of it?

Go check out the Sci-Fi-London website for more information about who they are, what they do, and what films are showing from the 1st to the 7th of May.

You can also follow them on Twitter and Facebook and all that stuff!

The Story of Film DVD Contest

Courtesy of Network DVD, Kino London is giving away a steelbook box set of Mark Cousins’s fantastic documentary, The Story of Film. Made over six years, filmed on five continents, and spanning 15 episodes, it’s an epic project made all the more compelling by Cousins’s excellent narration and direction. Anyone who has misty-eyed memories of Moviedrome will know exactly what I’m talking about.

HOW TO ENTER:

Print off the Kino London logo, which has adorned almost all of the 1000+ films that have screened at Kino, take a photo of yourself with it, and upload the photo to our Facebook wall – if the picture is taken in an interesting/unusual/silly place, your chances of winning increase significantly. The competition runs for a month, and the winner will be notified in early May. To provide you with some inspiration, here is a sample entry:

To find out more go to kinolondon.com

On the 15th of May 2012 Gorilla Film Magazine is Back in Print!

What’s the News?

We’re back! As some of you are probably aware, Gorilla Film Magazine has always had a bit of a fetish for the smell of cheap paper, so we’re delighted to be back in print for issue 4. We tried the whole ‘online magazine’ thing and it’s not really for us, we’d much rather be poor and on shelves, so that you can clutch the new issue in your trembling hands and hold it against your beating chest.

So When is it Out?

As of 15.05.2012, you’ll be able to purchase Gorilla Film Magazine for £3, either in shops, at special film nights or on our website.

Wait, It Costs Money Now?

Yep, it has always cost us a lot to actually make the magazine, and we just can’t do it alone anymore. While most of your £3 will go towards all of our writers crippling alcohol addictions, some of it will go towards printing costs. At this stage Gorilla won’t be making any profit, but maybe some time in the future we’ll be just like a real magazine! We’re also having a bit of a makeover, with a splash more colour and a sexy spine to spice things up a bit. It’ll be worth every penny.

£3 Just isn’t enough! Can We Give You More Money?

Why yes, yes you can! There will be all sorts of special deals and offers for all you crazy fun lovers out there, including a sparkly new limited edition t-shirt design.

So What’s In Issue 4?

Loads of stuff. We take a look at the exhibition of short film, and the role the Internet has to play in the medium’s evolution. We’ve got a bunch of reviews of short films that are available to watch online. There are articles about self-promotion, movie funding, production board making and budget tripod solutions. And we interview filmmakers Frank Poulson (Blood in the Mobile), Will Jewel (Man in Fear) and Ben Cady (The Goat in the Well) the latter taking time out of his busy schedule to shed light on what it is to be an animator. We’ve also got a bit about the photogénie, a top five list of the sexiest movie monsters and various other interesting bits and bobs.

When is Out Again?

The 15th of May! It’s in the title of this blog post, for crying out loud! We’ll keep you updated as we go along, and we’ll be announcing pre-orders very soon!

Anything Else?

Yeah, we’re doing a Caption Competition over on Facebook, come up with the best caption for the image and you’ll win a copy of issue 4! Click on this link to play!